I have a husband. His name is Joel. He is amazing. He is definately not perfect, mind you, but has qualities and a depth of character that few men I know can match.
There is a conversation Joel and I had that I will never forget. It was at the beginning of our courtship and it went something like this:
Joel: "You know, Jaclyn, I don't need you."
Jaclyn: "That's good. I don't need you either."
Joel: "My happiness does not depend on you, nor will I let it be based on you. If you decided tomorrow that you did not want to marry me- my life would not be ruined. My first love is Christ and my purpose is found in Him. I don't want a wife just to have a cook and a maid. I believe God has called us together to do more than that for Him."
Jaclyn: "I agree."
I am not sure why I was thinking about it this morning, but I had to smile. That conversation is such a reflection of who we are. And we love each other more because of conversations like it.
We do not need each other. We can be just as happy alone. Our hope and purpose in life is not, nor should it ever be based on one another. If we live with that idea then we run the risk of placing unrealistic expections on people to meet needs that only God Himself can fill in us.
Still, two are better than one. Marriage is designed by God to be the picture of Christ and the Church to the world. We cannot do that alone. Marriage was designed to produce children. We cannot do that alone.
So we do need each other, but our need is not based on us. Our need and desire for one another is so that God may be more glorified in our lives and in this world that so desperately needs Him.
Don't worry, we love each other very much! I belive we have a better and stronger love than those who feel the love that seeks to only please self. I cannot wait until we have been married 5, 10, 15, 25 years and know what true love really looks like.
Jeannie, a woman who has been a mentor to me for over a year now, shared, "You know, Jaclyn, we remember what it was like to be in love the first few years of marriage. It's nice. We have been married 40 years now, though, and love each other more than we ever have before. We would never want to trade what we have now for the young love we had then. It's so weak."
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"This (marriage) is a profound mystery—
but I am talking about Christ and the church."
Ephesians 5:32
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1 comment:
I love what Jeannie said. Even after these 5 years for Matt and I, we can already see how our love has plunged to new depths from that "first love." And if it's changed so much already, I can't imagine it after 40 years. I will say that I think you and Joel are starting at much greater depth than most!
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