This has been an amazing, strange, beautiful and tiring day.
In a way, my work load for today began yesterday since the payroll company did not return our download to me before I left. That meant I had more work to do today and on top of that, after making this abnoxious beep, my computer has randomly been shutting off. It usually does it once a week... yesterday it happened 4 times.
I did not sleep well last night and was facing the busiest day of my entire month in an exhausted state of mind. Payroll took three hours to process this morning when it usually takes one. My computer was moving exceptionally slow and my printer was squeeking like a wild mouse.
Since I have been having an unquenchable hunger for God's Word and, seemingly some time on my hands, I decided to take advantage of the slow download. My computer was occupied and I could do nothing else. I was already half way through Genesis in my normal readings so I finished it, read twenty-five chapters of Psalms and then ten chapters of Exodus.
Let me say this, it is absolutely incredible and dare I say IMPERATIVE to read God's Word in huge chunks on a regular basis. It has been a while since I have done so and it was like water to a thirsty soul. I read the accounts of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph and watched as God revealed Himself to them.
This is no story. This is no play. This is real and the words on the pages I read today are faultless, seamless and life-giving. To neglect God's Word and intense study of it is not only stupid, but wrong. How can I expect to defeat sin, have a oneness with God and transform my world if I am not daily practicing my skill with the sword?
Then, after payroll was done, I checked my email and found one from Todd. He sent me a link to a sermon on YouTube. I watched the short clip.
Gut wrenching, painfully convicting and soul reviving is how I describe what I heard. Some might be angry with the preacher and others would not even understand what he said, and yet it was exactly what I needed to hear. I later listened to the whole sermon and wanted to weep uncontrolably. I would have if I had been alone in my room, but I had payroll to complete and a dentist appointment to make.
Can I ask you to listen to AT LEAST the short clip and PLEAD with you to listen to the long one? Paul Washer communicates so passionately what I long for the American Church to hear. I will be listening to it several more times and seriously continue reevaluating my life.
I will post about the sermon soon. For now I will say as I said a few posts ago... I can feel something being unleashed inside of me and I cannot wait to see what God is doing with me!
Do you ever look at the people in this world and wonder what they are living to accomplish? We are like little ants, going here and there, working, storing up food for the winter, and yet one day we will die. There is no cure for death and yet we live as if the inevitable will never happen.
What is the point of gaining more possessions, fame or a "better self"? What is that going to help when death is just around the corner for all of us?
What am I living to accomplish? I am like a little ant, going here and there, working, storing up food for the winter, and yet one day I will die. Do I live as if I think the inevitable will never happen?
I am hungry. They are hungry. We are hungry for God whether we admit it or not.
And there are a few of us who have the answer to the hunger. We have been given access to the Bread of Life. We have tasted and seen that He is good.
Yet we hoard it for ourselves. Oh, we do not always do it intentionally, but we do it all the same. We get so busy in our menial tasks that we forget the war for souls continues to wage all around us. We stay locked in our houses, cars, jobs and churches. We hoard the gospel, abuse it in our own lives and occassionally hope that the lost will be saved.
And death comes. For them. For us. And life is gone...
After discovering that tomorrow is National Boss's Day, a girl decided to do something nice, and include her co-workers in the plan too. Since their boss was in Singapore, she emailed the department and encouraged people to send him an e-card or an encouraging email.
After pressing the send button she gasped in astonishment. She had emailed the whole, the WHOLE, department...
...including the boss.
She cooly walked to the IT managers office and asked if an email could be unsent. The IT manager appologetically replied no. Knowing he had access to everyone's inbox she pressed, "Well, tomorrow is National Boss's Day and I just sent an email to everyone encouraging them to send a kind note to Wendell. And I included Wendell."
He laughed, amused, "I think I can take care of that."
After a few information technology backdoors and one click...
I'm frustrated. I am more frustrated right now than I have been in a long, long, long time.
Sin makes me mad.
After all that I know, believe and love about Christ, I still decide to sin. I decide to be arrogant, selfish, angry, jealous and prideful. I have the forgiveness of the Creator of the universe and I am willing to throw it back in His face and go my own way.
The last few weeks have been hard for me on the inside. Time is up. I've had enough.
I know what it will take to be the amazing woman of God that I desire to be. Wait, let me say that again- only God can take this lump of clay and transform it into something beautiful. I cannot do anything but walk in obedience.
I'm tired of being the same. I am tired of struggling with the same things. I am tired of living every day the same. I am tired of only scratching the edge of the infinate love God has for me- and I can have for Him.
Watch out world... something is being unleashed in me. I am excited and scared to death.