"Be Near Me"
by Bethany Dillon
I follow all the rules
Well, at least I'm trying
Hoping when my days are through
You'll be pleased
I've lived the longest days
Thinking my heart was so bad
Too scared to look in your face
Oh, if only I had
And is it alright
If I stay here all night
By the shoreline
I cannot believe you are angry or unjust
You've done nothing but have compassion on us
So be near me when I've given up
Be near me
I'm just like everyone else
We are all hiding
Acting like I have a wealth
Of knowledge and peace
But all I've ever wanted
And what men have given their lives for
Is a God who understands my weaknesses
A God that I can love
I believe you are good and righteous
You've given me your reckless love
So be near, be near...
~~~I have recently been reminded of areas of insecurity that I have. It is not a new revelation, but as I think about it this time I am able to see more of the core in my heart. Many times I am not sure where the emotions or feelings come from- they just happen- and sometimes without the slightest warning.
I believe, with all my heart, that unbelief in God's promises is the sin that causes every other sin. When I take my eyes off of Him, His love, His mercy, His grace and His forgiveness I am bound to be miserable one way or another.
Yesterday in our morning devotion Wendell (my boss) read the following quote:
"I think I can trace every scrap of sorrow in my life to this simple unbelief. How could I be anything but quite happy if I believed always that all the past is forgiven, and all the present furnished with power, and all the future bright with hope because of the same abiding facts which don't change with my mood, do not stumble because I totter and stagger at the promise through unbelief, but stand firm and clear with their peaks of pearl cleaving the air of Eternity and the basis of their hills rooted unfathomably in the Rock of God. Mount Blanc does not become a phantom or a mist because a climber grows dizzy on its side."
He is so right.
And God is so compassionate. He is so patient.