I adore the Autumn season. I treasure watching trees transform from their simple coats of green to vibrant dresses of of gold, red, orange and brown. The heat of summer is replaced with air that is crisp, clean and cool. Change, with the variety of faces it displays, always involves the shedding of the old to dawn the new.
Soon, though, the beautiful colors of Autumn will be replaced with naked trees, a dead earth and frigid temperatures as the area undergoes the change from one season to another.
My life has gone through many changes this past year and is about to take another drastic twist. I have been offered a job at Caleb Project International as Executive Assistant to the Human Resource department, Finance team and Mission Plex. I interviewed with the Finance Manager and the Executive Director last Thursday.
I must give them a decision by tomorrow morning. I am excited and scared to death at the same time. It would be an extreme amount of change all at once. My "work" time, including travel, would triple. My income would double. My freedom would be incredibly limited. My opportunity for missions and ministry would explode. My life would be poured into an area where my passion lies and yet it would consume me.
For over a year I have cried out to God telling Him that I do not want to continue pouring my life into insurance. It has been a wonderful job, stable, money-producing and flexible. I have asked God that when I leave insurance I want to be getting married or pursuing my desire to make Him famous through missional devotion. And if the mission work could be a paid position, it would be perfect.
And perfect God is.
For He has, it seems at this time, answered several desires and needs all at once. Still, there is a part of me, faithless and scared as it is, that wants to talk myself out of taking the job. I have no idea why. It seems like a sparkling gift is being handed to me and I turn my nose up at it as if it were a rotten egg. There would be a level of sacrifice for me, but all things good come at a price.
Goodness, Jesus died to make it possible for me to even THINK about having this job! I long to be faithful, to give my life for His story and to further His fame to the nations.
I stand on the edge of a vast canyon. It is beautiful to gaze at, hold as a picturesque postcard and say I visited. Yet, the Lion invites me to step off the top and journey to the bottom, where ever that leads. I am scared. Comfort will be gone. Sacrifice will be manditory. He calls. I must follow.
Please pray for me as a make the transition of a life-time.
After all, I am not one who is willing to waste my life.