There is so much going on right now in my life, heart, mind and soul. I am building relationships with new friends, having struggles with old ones and seeing that Jesus is the only Friend who will never let me down.
As I face new areas of growth, trusting God has once again been taken to a new level for me. His ways are not mine and I have no control over anything. He calls me to follow after Him and obey. I cannot look to the right or the left to see if others are obeying Him. My concentration needs to be on the battle that is in front of me.
Last night I had a wonderful, yet painful, breakdown. And, yes, it did include crying. I recognized that I have been more stressed about a couple of things than I realized. The burdens I have been carrying during the day, along with sleepless nights has resulted in a girl who is tired, distracted, unhappy and sad.
I know this is not the last time I will feel grief, pain and heartache, but I feel a freedom today that I have not had in several months. The truth of these verses and the call to obey them is what gave me such peace:
"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:7-11
Cast my anxieties on Him and leave them there. I am free to be self-controlled and alert when I am not lugging around my burdens. The enemy is ready to destroy me and if I am overwhellmed with concerns then I leave myself weak and vulnerable to his attack. My brothers and sisters around the world are suffering from anxieties of all kinds too, so if I stand firm then maybe others will have the courage to do so as well! I will suffer because Christ suffered, it is apart of life, and yet it is only for a little while. He will restore me and make me strong, firm and steadfast. All of this is for His glory because He alone has the power to transform my anxieties and make them something useful for His name sake!