A Glimpse Inside

There are times in my life when I wonder what God is doing with me. It seems that the tests and trials come in waves, crashing in on me all at once. I have come to realize, though, that blessings always follow close behind!

There is so much going on right now in my life, heart, mind and soul. I am building relationships with new friends, having struggles with old ones and seeing that Jesus is the only Friend who will never let me down.

As I face new areas of growth, trusting God has once again been taken to a new level for me. His ways are not mine and I have no control over anything. He calls me to follow after Him and obey. I cannot look to the right or the left to see if others are obeying Him. My concentration needs to be on the battle that is in front of me.

Last night I had a wonderful, yet painful, breakdown. And, yes, it did include crying. I recognized that I have been more stressed about a couple of things than I realized. The burdens I have been carrying during the day, along with sleepless nights has resulted in a girl who is tired, distracted, unhappy and sad.

I know this is not the last time I will feel grief, pain and heartache, but I feel a freedom today that I have not had in several months. The truth of these verses and the call to obey them is what gave me such peace:

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:7-11

Cast my anxieties on Him and leave them there. I am free to be self-controlled and alert when I am not lugging around my burdens. The enemy is ready to destroy me and if I am overwhellmed with concerns then I leave myself weak and vulnerable to his attack. My brothers and sisters around the world are suffering from anxieties of all kinds too, so if I stand firm then maybe others will have the courage to do so as well! I will suffer because Christ suffered, it is apart of life, and yet it is only for a little while. He will restore me and make me strong, firm and steadfast. All of this is for His glory because He alone has the power to transform my anxieties and make them something useful for His name sake!

For Real Now

Several weeks ago I wrote a pathetic post about what is happening in my life. I really wanted to write more, but I lacked creativity and time. There are many things to tell you, my readers (Whoever that would be), about what is happening in my life and family.

Vocal
Friday, April 13, 2007 my brother, Ben, won the vocal competition at the Northeast Artists Guild Expressive Arts Conference. See more info at his blog site: Ben Zornes' Band or here.

Bones
Two broken bones in 12 hours is not a family record I would recommend trying to beat. Three Wednesdays ago my brother Timothy, 11, crashed on his scooter. Take your hand and bend it back like you are trying to grab your elbow. The curve from arm to hand is where Timothy landed. He has a buckle break just above the wrist where the bones, both of them in his arm, broke from the pressure that was felt on both sides- wrist hitting ground and body falling on top. OUCH. The doctors thought that there was possibly a need to put him to sleep and rebreak it. Thank God this was not the case! He is casted and on his way to healing!

Guess what we learned through this? God designed, in His infinate wisdom, for the body to compensate the break by replacing the gap in the bone and disolving the excess bone. Let me explain. When you break a bone there can be a number of degrees that the break angles. Timothy's was 15% and angled down. The arm will heal with this curve. Then the body grows more bone on the side where the angle is acute and then disolves the excess bone on the obtuse angle. Make sense?

So, the Thursday morning after Timothy's accident, my grandma fell down the stairs and broke her shoulder. My mom has been a great daughter and has made numerous trips to Cheyenne to help my grandparents over the last four months. She has become a doctors' office visit specialist this year with three surgeries, stiches in my sister and Timothy's broken arm! Thanks, mom, for all you do! :-)

Of Bikes and Mattresses
Tax return. I do not know what that phrase stirs in your heart, but I know it creates excitement in mine. For some reason I think that tax returns are to be spent. The whole year I am dilligent to save. I make sure I have reserve for large purchases or emergencies. So, if the government has taken more money than need be and in my mind that money is already gone, why save it when they finally give it back?

This year I decided to use my return for several "large" purchases, which are: a mountain bike, helmet, nice tennis shoes, a wave enhancer (like a perm) and a mattress.

The last 6 months I have been convicted in regards to several areas of my physical life: health and money. God has constantly been showing me that great men and women of the faith kept these two areas of their lives under tight control. They ate healthy, excersised, gave away money, prayed over money, etc. So, with my tax return I decided it was a perfect time to get resources that would encourage me to get into shape.

Jogging is out of the question for me, but I absolutley love to ride. A while ago I told my dad that I wanted to get new tires, new breaks and a new seat on my Huffy (Walmart) bike that I have had since I was 13. He smiled, "Jaclyn, you might as well get a new bike!" So, I did a fair amount of research on the type of bicycle I wanted.

I discovered that I wanted: a mountain frame (thicker, sturdy, wide tires), 10-24 speeds (for a variety of terrain), hand breaks and shocks. On top of THAT I wanted it to be, obviously, in good condition and of a reputable sporting brand. AND under $100. Sure, go ahead and laugh. It is funny if you know anything about bicycles.

I mentioned to a friend of mine at work that I was looking for a new bike. She said that she had been wanting one too! So, we began the hunting togther. The day she asks me if I want to go to Play It Again Sports, a used sporting goods store, I was in a dress. We arrive and I see it. The bicycle of my dreams right there in front of my eyes. We gawk, admire and inspect. And gawk again when we see the price: $59.99. Since I am in a skirt she test rides it around the parking lot. We decided that one of us will definately use it and if not we will resell it for $100. Ah, I love capitalism! I took it home that night for a test-ride. I fell in love. I told her so the next day at work and she said that it was mine!!!

It has all of the specs that were on my wish list. The picture above is from the Giant Bicycle website and looks almost like my bike except mine has shocks! The price tag on this machine brand new is $500-700!

The idea for a new mattress comes from the desire to rest better. My back and neck have been killing me lately. I am not sleeping well because I have a spring sticking into my hip. Yet, is this complaining? Hudson Taylor and great other number of missionaries GOT RID of their mattresses in order to prepare for the field. Am I wanting the new mattress for selfish reasons or Christ-exalting desires?

Anyway... there are several over due update bits. There is a ton more to tell, but for fear of loosing your interest I will stop there. :-)

Unusual Me

I chose pink for the background of my blog? Could it be? Was it me? Who kidnapped Jaclyn and switched brains with her? Hahaha... We'll see how long it lasts.